History and evolutions

When I last left off I was a little dazed and confused as to where I was going with that thought. Not really a big surprise as I tend to free flow thought while writing and go back and read what it was I wrote to pick up on the thought. This format is different as it isn't so much as free flowing thought but random offerings of thoughts as they are processed.
So here I am trying to decide when it was that I evolved into who I am now , not so much what I am as that will change with every new job I do , no longer am I seeking careers it is far too late in the game for that I am looking for work again , however short term that may be I am not looking for career so the what I am is not really a question that needs to be answered and can easily be summed up in the description of my most recent employment.
Who I am is entirely different from that person in that who I am is what I hold inside and for those who know me there are two or more distinct persona, that I have , what I am at work , to fellow employee's , who I am at home to my children and my spouse ,( that may or may not match their idea of who I am as opposed to who I think I am to them , not just from their point of view but how they process their own reality ) and then there is the person who I thought I was or that I want to be , and there is the rub. Is the person I want to be the person others see in me? Am I who I think I am ? Socrates once said I think therefore I am , but he also said No man is an island unto themselves, so philosophically speaking am I the person that others perceive me to be, most likely not as that person it the one that I hope they view and therefore make a conscious choice , most times to be a certain way , speak in a certain manner and to react to situations in an expected way. This may not always coincide with the me who I know and the voice that I recognise when we sit down and have a little convo with ourselves, me say I think , I corrects me's syntax and myself usually sits back until the fight has been fought to add a voice of reason , multiple personalities are so much fun.
so I say to myself , self and we recognise the voice because we do this alot , are we really who we think we are or are we some other group of individuals ?? Is OTC really a bad thing when most of the outbursts are for the better ?? Does OTC explain the sociopathic tendencies, well at times yes it does, following this thought process, OTC explains the compulsion to be a center of attention , and the sociopathic tendencies are explained by the lack of recognition of social boundaries, but if it is a harmless setting or meant in a humorous manner is that such a bad thing , not sure , are these defining moments that should be considered when answering the question of who are we ???
Is our evolution to where we are now really such a large part of who we really are and if that is true why then is it so difficult to rationalize who we have become, is it that difficult or complex to consider life choices and the progression of these and how much of who we have become part of the choices we make when considering life partners ?? I suppose it matters to how much of your own personal needs are being met as opposed to the needs of others being met by you as a trade off , but does that in itself contribute to the who we are??