First draft

Good that there is a spell checker on this , but no grammer checker. So this would be the first of what i hope to be many blogs. The little bit about me only gives you a small sense of who I am and in all honesty , I am hoping to find that self again. This may seem strange to many , but it seems that I have managed to loose myself recently and not being all that good at looking for things , selfs included , have decided to share some thoughts with others in a small hope that i will find my lost self or at teh very least redesign organise or discover a new self.
This process may also strike some as strange but there is a reason for this , insanity is only a small part , you see long long ago in a land far far away , ok not so far and not so long ago , I was sure of who i was what I wanted and how I was going to get it , then things changed , I evolved into a person I was extrememly unhappy as , unable to see my way out of the corner i had esoterically painted myself into i relied on someone else to perform the judgement and render my old self defunct.Not that that was a bad thing but for myselves sake it seemed like the thing to do at the time , well that sort of became habit forming so now I find myself at that cross road again. Of course listening to songs like the one playing right now doesn't help much , thankyou AMANDA MARSHAL , driving myself to distraction til you got in my way and not sure of how I am living , all I know is that I wouldn't want to be me with out you ??
Interesting concept , makes for an awesome song but practically speaking it couldn't make things worse, heavy sigh some daze Iwish that I hadn't read all those ology books , ???? All that aside it begs that age old question if someone with multiple personality disorder threatens suicide , is it considered a hostage situation ??? How does that work do all the rest of the personalities gather and decide who dies first ??? Is it really a mass suicide ?? or mass murder ? would I have to shoot myself more then once ? guess it depends on how many personalities I have , oh I'm sorry the voices in my head are keeping you awake , well then my gentle friends I will end this ramble with those questions posed and allow you some freedom